Gundam SEED: The Veiled Light
by Devientity
Summary: The final battle at Jachin Due has ended, yet the war achieved nothing. Somehow the SEED intervenes and the time line ripples. Armed with knowledge of what the future holds, two young men will defy fate as they fight to change what their world became. WIP/TimeTravel AU.
1. Phase 00: Where Destiny Ends

**Summary: **The final battle has ended and the war achieved nothing. Somehow, the SEED intervenes and causes the timeline to warp. Armed with knowledge of what the future holds, two young men will defy fate as they fight to change the nightmare their future has become.

**A/N: **Anyone who has even peeked at my Profile will know that I love alternate realities. I have always wanted to create an AU for GS canon but have never had any original ideas until now, so this is my attempt at a canon AU, hoping it is not as clichéd as it seems and that it turns out well.

**Other Themes/Warnings: **Warping of canon events and a severe twisting of the timeline. Other characters (Oc's),Hurt/comfort, violence (i.e. death, abuse, torture or graphic scenes). Sexual content (implied, referenced or otherwise), self-abuse (possible), yaoi/yuri (slash), language, mentioned or implied substance abuse…And just about anything else, you can possibly think of, which should constitute as a warning. Consider yourselves warned.

**Pairings: **Kira/Lacus, Athrun/Cagalli, Mu/Murrue, Tolle/Miriallia, Sai/Flay and Oc/Oc…There will also be other possible, one-sided, implied or non-consensual pairings. _All pairings are subject to change at any possible moment, except for first three._

**Disclaimer:** I do NOT own anything in relation to Gundam SEED or Gundam SEED Destiny. Nor do I own anything quoted or used from other materials, e.g. songs, song titles, lines or extracts…So do not sue me, for I have nothing and only the lawyers will benefit from the ordeal. I own only my Oc's, self-created mobile suits and the plot. Standard disclaimer applies for every chapter.

***Story has no beta so feel free to inform me of any errors.

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><p><strong>Gundam SEED: The Veiled Light<strong>

**Phase 00: "Where Destiny Ends..."**

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><p><em><strong>C.E 71- Battle at Jachin Due<strong>_

Devastation. That is all there was left. It hung around him like some kind of horrid, floating cloud consisting of twisted metal and debris; a grim mixture of mobile suits, discarded weaponry and warships respectively.

_A mass grave_, his mind whispered…For that is what it was._ Just as Junius Seven haunted space, so too would this battlefield._

The dusky black background was still and silent, whereas just moments ago it had been alight in a torrent of vivid beams, flashing erratically, while explosions shook the atmosphere, the resulting shrapnel and molten steel almost as deadly as the barrage that had presided before it.

_He would take the frightening cacophony of combat over this stark stretch of quiet._

It had been a desperate fight right from the start, each passing second, each prolonged minute, as unpredictable as the one before, with the casualties quickly rising in number on both sides and no end to the carnage in sight. What had begun as a struggle between two opposing beliefs and the neutralists who stood between them, had swiftly and easily descended into an immense bloodbath of sheer discord and confusion, only to now become…No more?

Shielded within the scarred remnants of the Freedom (the faithful machine just barely holding together), Kira Yamato- average civilian turned ace pilot- sat in shocked disbelief as he stared into the distance, a feeling of vast emptiness drowning him and all sense of time completely beyond his current reasoning.

_What had gone wrong for it to end this way? _He wondered numbly. _How was it, that the war they had fought so long in, the war they had all sacrificed so much for had no apparent victor and only thousands of victims? _Tears ran unbidden from glazed purple eyes, blending with sweat-soaked, bruised skin and warm compared to the all-encompassing cold that seemed to cover his entire body.

GENESIS. That one simple word was the only answer his thoughts could offer, and even then, the answer gave him nothing.

The giant laser had exploded for some reason that was unknown to the brunet, but the aftermath had been as clear as a day in summer and there was no denying how fatal the occurring blast had been.

_...heat and fire and shredded metal...bodies and blood and scraps of wreckage._

Kira choked on a sob.

"Why?" He uttered softly, unable to wrap his mind around the situation. "I don't...I can't..."

No one had survived, that much he knew. Time spent calling- begging- over different comm. lines for someone, anyone to answer him, had more than proven that he was all alone.

_Alone..._The word caused his heart to beat unnaturally fast. A speed unlike any he had ever felt before; erratic as if absorbed in the intoxicating rush of adrenaline, but also constricting and somewhat cold like when beset by heart wrenching sorrow that stole the very oxygen from every cell in your being.

_All gone...all alone. You have no one. _

Kira acutely felt the despair rage inside of him, so strong that it seemed to tear his very insides apart, ripping through him mercilessly, but that distress was morphing, changing over into a burning anger that held no restrictions. His hand clenched tightly and he slammed them upon the Freedoms controls, ignoring the stinging sensation followed, as well as the crimson that then seeped through his gloved hands.

"WHY! DAMN YOU WHY?"

His screams echoed throughout the non-existent battlefield, lingering and meaningless considering there was no one left to hear the words.

"It wasn't meant to end this way!"

The only reason he had survived was his fight with Le Creuset, which had taken them far beyond the reach of the super weapon and yet his survival...His survival meant he was the only one left. All his friends and loved ones were gone and he had been unable to save any of them.

"What did they do to deserve this! Why are they gone?"

He could not save Flay when Le Creuset shot down her escape pod.

(_The conflict and slight enmity between them, there would be no way to put it to rest now.)_

He could not save Athrun and Cagalli as the Strike Rouge was the first to disintegrate in the blast.

(_His best friend and newly found sister...To have reformed that fragile bond and to have discovered his twin, only to lose them both.)_

Captain Murrue and the crew of the Archangel, Kusanagi and Eternal.

(_People he had spent months and lived through endless tragedies with.)_

Lacus...

(_He could still hear her screams.)_

"We were fighting for a better future."

They were all gone along with so many other nameless faces that would never see another day. More victims of a war that had held no worth, with more families that would never see or hold loved ones again.

"Why am I still here..."

A silver ring attached to a matching chain, floated into Kira's line of sight suspended by gravity and glinting slightly, and the brunet found he could no longer do anything to hold back his mounting agony.

"Damnit!"

The tears ran freely.

The pain was too much, too soon and his anger to great to contain. Rage, misery and guilt boiled and lashed violently within like a furious storm. It left him trembling, frozen and gasping for air, desperate to breathe but wanting it all to end.

_Just take it away..._

The world was closing in around him, constricting the little space he had left and then his vision was turning inward, dissipating before he was lost to an endless abyss of black.

_Why...Why couldn't it have been different? Why had it ended this way...Why did he have to be alone?_

There was an abrupt burst of bright amethyst light and a strange warm sensation was taking over the icy chill, with streaks of emerald green shooting through the showers of violet and washing over the despair with a startling sense of calm.

_It was an end with no meaning._

The co-ordinator's last conscious thought, was that if given the chance, if allowed to do things over again...He would change the outcome.

The rays of light pulsed brightly, almost caressing him.

_He would do anything; give everything, to prevent this kind of horror._

Colour merged with darkness and then he knew know more. No more pain...No more suffering...Just the endless calm of nothing.

**-O-**

The beeping sound was insistent and annoying, similar almost to the distinctive red-alert signal when a battle ship entered into a dangerous situation. A sound he had become intimately familiar with given his time on the Archangel, Kusanagi and Eternal.

It was a noise that instantly had Kira's eyes snapping open despite the heavy feeling in his limbs and the numbing pain in his head, amethyst depths clouded with agitation and unchecked confusion as they blinked to clear away the fog.

Eyes met the white expanse of ceiling before moving to take in the rest of the room, simple oak furniture, soft yellow curtains and before Kira knew it he was on his feet and backing into the nearest corner, hands curling into brown locks as he slid to the floor with his back pressed against the wall, his body trembling. His insides lurched sickeningly and he fought to shake off the sudden dizziness, absently noting that the ringing noise was from a small, black alarm that rested innocently upon the bedside table.

Kira glanced at it, took in the room once more and then closed his eyes, taking deep breaths to calm his now frantically pounding heart. He resolutely ignored the curious chirps of the green and white robotic bird perched upon a small stand, because there was no way it was there- a justifiable thought he reckoned, seeing as Torii had been destroyed along with Lacus and the Eternal.

_He was dreaming...He had to be._

In his fury and anguish, he'd most likely lost consciousness and was now hallucinating- after all, fevers from extreme stress were not unheard of?- while trapped in the carcass of the Freedom, all alone and stranded upon a deserted, ghostly battlefield.

_There was absolutely no way he could be in his bedroom on Heliopolis. His mind wasn't that sadistic._

Kira allowed his eyes to open briefly before they snapped shut just as quickly.

_Yes, there was just no way..._

The rhythm of hurried footsteps broke through his quiet mental struggle and had him instinctively tensing; months of constant threats making the reaction seem natural. The rattle of the door's handle and raised voices had him getting to his feet, heart pumping wildly and the blood roaring in his ears.

"...and the alarm has been going for the past three minutes. I'm telling you now, there's something wrong Hiruma."

"It's the last few days of the school holiday Caridad; maybe he's just trying to sleep in?"

_No, it's impossible..._Kira thought, eyes widening as the door swung open.

"Kira, is everything alright sweetheart?" Caridad Yamato asked as she walked into the room with her husband Hiruma following closely behind, a clearly exasperated look on his face as he smiled fondly at his overly concerned wife.

"Mum...Dad..."

Caridad smiled warmly and Kira felt himself freeze with the onset of shock.

"No..."

The brunet was not even surprised when his vision faded and the last thing he heard was his mothers alarmed shout before descending once again into blessed darkness.

* * *

><p><em>...Excruciating pain was all he knew. Burning, twisted agony that seemed to stab every fibre and nerve, but that couldn't be right, could it? <em>_He was supposed to be dead. Had he not died?_

_Memories of emerald green light and blinding purple flashes...Sorrow mixed with guilt and a strained, abnormal sort of hope that yearned for change._

_...He found he did not understand._

Green eyes opened wearily after a moments struggle, to find a world filled with white, so much white that it made his vision blur with irritation.

_Where am I? _Athrun wondered even with his mind and thoughts foggy with pained exhaustion. He blearily noticed that his right arm and part of his chest were bandaged heavily, that some kind of machine stood next to the bedside and that a needle protruded from his left hand, but otherwise, the room was bare.

Athrun frowned. _This didn't make sense._

The last clear thing he recalled was the battle at Jachin Due, his decision to set off Justice's self-destruct within GENESIS and watching his father die. Cagalli stopping him from sacrificing his life needlessly. Their escape in the Rouge.

...and then it all went wrong.

The mixture of both mobile suit and the lasers advanced technology, proved a deadly combination that resulted in a devastatingly large-ranged explosion of nuclear energy and sheer heated pressure. They never saw it coming.

He could remember Cagalli's amber eyes widening in horror, could hear her scream merge with his and could feel the searing pain as the explosion washed over them.

_He had died._

Athrun did not notice that he had pushed his battered body into an upright position. He did not hear the machines begin to beep loudly. He could not feel the pain. There was only confusion and panic.

_He had died...So why was he here? Why was he clearly living, breathing...alive?_

The door of the room opened and people rushed in, but the emerald-eyed teen saw none of it, his eyes shut as his mind tried, (failed) to understand what was going on. Voices broke though his haze like a knife, some unforgettable and distinct, while others were only mildly familiar but no less haunting.

"Athrun..."

"You're finally awake...Gods, you scared us."

"What are you doing up like that?"

"We were so worried."

"Should we call Doctor Hue?"

"No, remember what happened the last time. The bastard will just kick us out..."

Athrun let his eyes open and stared at the people standing around him in a morbid silence, faintly aware that someone was touching his shoulder. He tilted his head to see who it was and felt his breath hitch when they met with Miguel Aiman's warm honey-toned eyes, so different from the arrogant expression the blond usually wore.

"Hey." He greeted softly. "You feel alright?"

_No, _Athrun thought numbly. _He wasn't alright. In fact, he was sure he had completely lost whatever sanity he had left._

"You scared the shit out of us, you know." A voice commented to his right, which had Athrun turning to face the speaker and eyes widening as they met Dearka Elsman's twinkling lavender orbs. Next to the tanned blond, Yzak Joule scoffed and glared his way with those impressively cold blue eyes.

"Speak for yourself moron."

"Oh shut up Yzak. Just because you have the emotional range of a needle eye..." A redhead piped up with a mischievous shine in his aquamarine eyes. "...Doesn't mean any of us have problems with expressing concern over a friend's injury."

Athrun turned to gape at Rusty Mackenzie in silent doubt while Yzak sent a chilling glare the redhead's way, opening his mouth to retort but...

"Don't even start." A voice interjected sternly. "We don't need to be banned from the infirmary again because of you two and your childish squabbles."

_Tarin Drake?_

Athrun turned his gaze once again, meeting the guarded grey eyes of a person he hadn't seen since his graduation from the ZAFT Academy. The golden-haired young man met his eyes with a wry smile.

"Nice to see you're on the mend, Zala."

_On the mend from what?_ Athrun mentally questioned. _Insanity? Hallucinations? For he was positive that seeing dead people, could be considered being psychologically imbalanced._

"Is something wrong Athrun?"

The familiar soft, melodic voice had him stiffening and then turning his head so fast Athrun was sure he got whiplash, bright topaz coloured eyes meeting his own.

_-The Blitz burst into fragments before his eyes, with the Strike's sword still jutting from its torso. A scream ripping through the air, then nothing-_

"Nicol?"

His voice sounded far away, harsh and raspy. A hand was the feeling his forehead.

"You still have a fever." Miguel stated. "Normal considering what happened when your CGUE overheated."

"Exposure to harsh temperatures...Wasn't that what Hue said was the result?" Tarin asked.

Athrun blinked.

"What?"

He wasn't even aware he had spoken aloud until five pairs of eyes turned towards him at the same time.

"Don't you remember?" Rusty asked with his head tilted slightly to show his confusion. The other group members exchanged mildly concerned looks. "We were completing Colonel Avery's simulation test on team strategy. We had gotten all the way through to level twelve when your CGUE suddenly malfunctioned..."

"The mechanics and tech support think the system short-circuited...might have been after that particularly nasty bludgeon you received from the BuCUE that blindsided us on level 8." Tarin added levelly.

"Blindsided all of you, is what you mean." Yzak scoffed.

The group bickered while Athrun's thoughts raced.

_Colonel Avery's simulation test?_

_...But that had been almost six months before their graduation. He recalled being injured during the exercise and having to spend two weeks in the infirmary for severe burns and a high fever._

_This was not possible...He was dreaming, right?_

_He had died...with Cagalli._

_...and what had happened after the fatal explosion? Were Lacus, Kira and so many of his other friends dead? Had they shared a similar fate?_

_So what did he call this?_

_What was happening to him?_

Athrun did not notice his increase in breathing. He did not see his friend's argument instantly cease as they watched his hands clench tightly into the bed sheets.

"Athrun!"

The emerald-eyed teen was shaken from his panic by Nicol's sharp exclamation and the others shocked gasps, their eyes fixed in horror at something on his chest. He glanced down and stared listlessly at the deep crimson that stood out upon the stark white bandages, a terrible ache making itself aware in the back of his mind.

_Right, I'm injured..._He thought dully. B_ut it didn't matter...He'd seen more blood then this._

"Call Doctor Hue." Dearka was saying and Nicol fled the room while Miguel and Tarin both worked together to get him to lie back down.

Athrun felt disconnected from his own body, as his thoughts remained impartial and once again turned inwards.

_Was this his punishment for every sin he had ever committed? To be trapped in memories of the past._

His vision was turning hazy and Athrun sense of consciousness was waning. His world went black just as a tall, balding man entered the room with Nicol close behind.

**-O-**

The transformation was monumental, rippling across the universe like a gentle wave but powerful all the same in its change of what had once been. Yet, no matter the greatness of this alteration, it went unnoticed by all...

All except for two young men, who when they woke once again and grew accustomed to the difference, would find they had been given a gift.

The gift of a second chance.

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><p><strong>AN: **Anyone going WTF? I know I did when this idea hit me.

Lol, I did warn you that I was going to warp canon so if you missed that in the warnings above, I suggest you return to top and reread that section.

My AU reasoning for the outcome of Athrun detonating Justice within GENESIS is what I consider a worst-case scenario situation. Think about it, the laser is a powerful piece of technology and weaponry combined together, so if both explode, I think the consequences would have been a little more disastrous (not that they were not bad in canon).

Thus, the result is my Armageddon version of canon and then the SEED intervening to cause time travel...Not sure if I'm going to expand on that one but this is a WIP, so who knows what the future holds.

Any opinions would be appreciated.

**Extra facts/Info: **Concerning my self-created mobile suits (when they are unveiled), I am going to take the time to apologize now if there is little originality when it comes to their designs. My story is based on plot and character growth, and while the suits are important, they are not the focus.

Well, that was the prologue. I hope everyone enjoyed. Updates will depend on when I have time. Unfortunately (because even though I love the idea), this story is not my top priority but that does not mean it will be neglected.


	2. Phase 01: The Burden of Fate

**A/N: **Wow, I'm completely blown away by the response the prologue got! You are all amazing, so this is for everyone. I apologize for the long wait.

***Some have asked if Kira is going to join ZAFT, but sadly the answer is no. Though I like the idea, it wont be used in this story since I have some other plans for our Ultimate Coordinator. As to when Kira and Athrun figure out they're both from the future, you will have to wait and see and them reuniting…well, that's also a wait and see.^-^

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><p><strong>Gundam SEED: The Veiled Light<strong>

**Phase 01: "The Burden of Fate"**

* * *

><p><em>Kira was dreaming and within the fog-laced world he found himself roaming, this was the only fact he knew for absolute certain…but even then, knowing that this was all a dream, did not make it hurt any less.<em>

_There was blood. Red dripping and everywhere. So much, that the sight made him want to be sick. So much, and no matter where he turned, it wasn't going away. There was screaming. God-awful shrieking he desperately wanted to silence. Cries that radiated torture and pain, emanating from deep inside the swirling mists and rivers of blood, high-pitched and so terrifying that tears formed to hear such abject agony. _

…_and he could smell burning rubber, smell that tell-tale sickly sweet stench of rotting flesh and charred skin, mixed in with a sulphurous metallic odour unique to mobile suits in the midst of their death throes. He could feel the heat and see the fire burning, sense the vast chaotic rumble and cascade of multiple explosives searing-_

_But it was a lie. In reality, there was just the mist and blood and screaming, for there were no real burning fires nor the spark of a raging battle…For it was a dream and everything he saw, everything his mind deemed fit to conjure, were simply the haunting echoes of each memory he had._

_To be stuck alone, with just his past as a constant companion, was a fate far worse than anything he himself could have thought up as punishment._

"_You let us die."_

_And then he wasn't so alone anymore as his twin sister stepped out from the white expanse, accusation blazing in her otherwise dull amber eyes._

"_How could you watch us die?"_

_Kira wanted to refuse, to deny her claims and explain, but he could get no audible sound to leave his lips._

"_Where were you when I burnt?" Cagalli whispered, a deformed hand ghosting over his cheek before she faded out of existence._

_Kira wanted to wake up now._

"_It hurts." A voice murmured and he whirled around to meet the dead blue eyes of the girl he had eventually fallen for._

_Lacus Clyne was strikingly beautiful, even with that cold smile touching too-pale lips and her white dress stained a muddy red amongst the burnt edges. _

"_It hurts so much…"_

_Tears that had been steadily building from the start, now fell at the words uttered so casually._

"_Why didn't you return?" She asked. "You promised to come back to me."_

_Kira attempted to reach out, to reassure the now trembling girl, but like Cagalli, she too faded away…only to be replaced by someone else._

"_It's all your fault." Flay Allster stated softly, steel grey eyes sharp and cold and Kira could only stare at the burnt skin that marred the entire right side of her face. "You're a failure, such a monster…Anyone even remotely close to you is gone, dead…and it's all your fault."_

"_That's not true!" He protested but the redhead just laughed, a cruel sound considering the next words to leave her mouth._

"_Oh, but it is dear, sweet Kira…" Flay smiled and suddenly more ghost-like figures began to join her, circling around him._

_There were so many familiar faces that it hurt…Mu, Murrue, Natarle, Waltfeld, crewmen of the Archangel, faces of people he himself had personally killed, Cagalli and Lacus in the background…and Flay was talking to him again._

"_You couldn't protect little Elle."_

_Said blonde girl stepped forward from the growing crowd, fiddling with a crushed and worn origami flower, tears in her aquamarine eyes as she held it out towards him._

"_You said it would be alright…" Elle whispered, her pale skin blistered. "You were supposed to look after us…and now Mama is gone…"_

"_You couldn't save Tolle when he was shot out of the sky." Flay continued._

_Tolle appeared as Elle stepped back, dressed in a pilot suit like the one he had worn the day he died…only it was now streaked in ash and grit and stained with dark red patches._

"_I died trying to protect you…" The brunet hissed. "…and you couldn't even keep Mir safe once I was gone."_

_Kira could feel his body begin to shake._

"_Even that ZAFT pilot did more than you!"_

_Flay laughed as Tolle's heated words rang all around them and one by one, the dismembered otherworldly copies began to disappear. Then she turned to face him, cold delight shining in her eyes._

"_Do you see it now? Do you see exactly how useless you are?" She asked. " …and to think, that was merely the tip of people you managed to fail!"_

_Flay giggled wickedly as she circled his trembling form with slow, almost predatory steps._

"_At the end of it all, despite the many promises you made and your supposed best efforts, you just couldn't save anyone."_

"_I tried." Kira whispered hoarsely, not really believing his own words. Even so, he didn't want any of that to be true. "I did try…"_

"_It wasn't good enough!" Flay shouted angrily, her pale hands pushing him backwards. "We're all gone!"_

_The redhead vanished and the brunet sunk to his knees._

"_This was all inevitable."_

_Kira met emerald green eyes and his entire body tensed._

"_Athrun…"_

"_The answer is really quite simple." The coordinator murmured. "Given what you are."_

_Kira froze._

"_What…I don't-"_

"_You're a monster, an abomination." Athrun interrupted, throwing something to the ground just as he began to fade. "A 'thing' like you, could never be a saviour."_

_Kira stared at the object Athrun had cast aside._

_Torii's lifeless red eyes, his robotic body mutilated..._

_Now he was alone in the stark white world that smelled of old blood and fire, the screams of the dying drumming loudly in his ears…and then a great pressure descending, pressing from every angle and suddenly hundreds of voices were whispering his failings...Torii lying there..._

_He screamed._

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><p>Kira woke from the nightmare, tremulous, sweating and gasping for oxygen that he could not seem to find. A pair of arms were wrapped around him, creating a cloak of warmth and pressure that should have brought comfort but only served to make the brunet feel utterly trapped.<p>

"No…"

"Shh, sweetheart…" A woman murmured softly, brushing aside his damp hair even as he struggled feebly in her grasp. "It was a nightmare, just a bad dream. Relax, go back to sleep."

The familiar voice of his mother- _No! Not his mother, knew her as his mother, was his mother. So confused. Nothing made sense_. His chest tightened painfully and her gentle, whispered words only made him want to scream.

Memories hit him like a flood; awakening in the room he once had on Heliopolis, Torii chirping at his bedside…parents rushing to check up on him…

"I'm here, don't you worry." Caridad murmured.

…but he did worry and he could not relax. For she could not be here and neither could he. He had been drifting, lost in space, with little air left and all those he had known dead, dying…

He had been dying.

"Please Kira…You need to calm down…"

Her words meant little in the world breaking around him. They meant little compared to his fear and confusion, and that gnawing sensation that something was not quite what it had been, that something had changed.

"Hiruma! He's not breathing!" Caridad screamed, but Kira was far beyond caring, especially when his world darkened once more and her cries faded with his consciousness.

**-O-**

_Glowing red eyes and comments tainted by venom and hatred, anger and fiery rage. He was drowning in the despair. Couldn't run. Couldn't hide. No one left. All dead, dying, gone..._

"Breathe...deep breaths, in and out, in and out..."

Kira wasn't sure if he was still dreaming. Someone was speaking. The room was dark.

...and he couldn't breathe properly.

"Don't worry love. Everything is alright." The voice whispered and he felt a slight pinch in his arm. Panic overwhelmed him. "...just a sedative...will help..."

And the world was fading and this time, there were no dreams. No monsters.

**-O-**

The third time Kira opened his eyes, the room wasn't quite as dark as it had been before, proven by the soft glimmers of light trying to shine through his drawn curtains.

The first thing he noticed after this, was that he was panicking once again but instead of his mother's tender tones, this time, an unfamiliar clinical voice (_had he heard it before?)_ was instructing him to breathe slowly. Steady arms helped him to sit up when he tried on his own, then helped him to take a few sips of water from an offered glass. The cool liquid was like heaven to his sore throat.

"There you go love, easy does it."

Now that Kira wasn't as disorientated, his body reflexively flinched away from the warm contact, his eyes shifting to access the room with careful scrutiny before turning to meet kind grey-green eyes.

"W-Who are you?" He asked warily, voice thick from disuse and the possible screaming he had done while dreaming (maybe he was still dreaming?).

The middle-aged woman smile despite his less than friendly tone and moved back a few steps, removing her hands from where they held his arms.

"Yuka Ayame." She introduced, holding out a surprisingly dainty hand even with its many calluses and rough edges. When he did no more than look at it, the woman continued as if it was nothing too important, brushing a strand of weathered brown hair behind an ear before speaking again.

"I'm a nurse and psychiatrist at the Heliopolis Medical Institute. You mother called me last night when you developed a pretty terrible fever."

"…Fever?"

Yuka nodded in answer to his quiet question.

"Fever, severe nightmares and hysteria." She said. "These symptoms are generally quite serious as a combination, but given what you are-"

"And what exactly am I?" Kira interrupted bitterly, not able to stop himself from reacting as the recollection of his dream made its self known.

"A coordinator love, unless, I have your genetic information wrong?" She asked curiously.

Kira flinched but did not answer, then he averted his eyes in order to avoid meeting her puzzled gaze.

Of course she had it wrong! After all, he wasn't just the average coordinator, was he?

_Monster…failure…abomination…The haunting of his dream echoed cruelly within his mind._

_-"You are the dream of humanity. The Ultimate Coordinator. It was Dr. Hibiki who first created the artificial womb. And you were the only viable child it ever produced. For that reason, a large number of your siblings were sacrificed."-_

Kira shivered at that singular memory of Rau Le Creuset's mocking speech that he had found tinted with resentment and an oddly placed awe that left him confused.

"Kira?"

The brunet blinked.

"Yes?"

Yuka Ayame stared at him for a long moment until she seemed to find whatever it was she wanted, for then she began packing away miscellaneous items into a black bag.

"Well, your fever has receded for the most part, which is good. I have prescribed some tablets to help you sleep an recommend you get as much fluids as possible."

The woman gave him a measured glance before she continued.

"I want you to take it easy. For the nightmares and hysteria, there is little I can do without knowing the cause…"

Another measured glance.

Kira shrugged, not willing to explain even if any explanation he could give would sound partially sane…And how would he explain it to the nurse, when he himself did not understand?

_-"I remember being several months in the not-too-far off future, dying on a ravaged battlefield, only to wake up in my home on the colony I watched get destroyed"- Oh yes, that would go down so very well._

"...Very well, then I recommend learning to calm yourself in case there are more panic attacks. It probably wont mean much, seeing as we don't know each other, but I'm going to make the offer regardless." Yuka then announced, startling the brunet from his morbid internal debate.

Kira met her gaze evenly.

"If you are ever in need of something, anything even if it seems silly, feel free to come see or speak to me."

The woman gave him one last smile, placing a white card on his desk before taking leave of the room.

Once the bedroom door had snapped shut and the sound of her footsteps had receded completely, Kira gingerly climbed out of bed and picked up the card to inspect it.

The white surface contained an address and two phone numbers, one of which he recognized as the landline for the Heliopolis Medical Institute. Scrawled on the other side in black ink was a cell phone number.

Kira stared blankly at the digits for a long time, not really noticing when the card slipped from his fingers and fell back onto the desk. His own body sank to the floor moments later and hands buried themselves into dark brown hair as he let loose a shaky sigh.

_He didn't know what was going on, didn't understand how something like this could happen…Maybe this was a hallucination and he was still trapped in the Freedom, dying an agonizingly slow death? Or maybe the entire war had been some wild dream cooked up by his imagination and he had never really done any of those things he recalled?_

_But it was all so real, so recent…Logic declared he was back in the past, back in a time before any of those horrifying events had occurred…but time travel, that wasn't possible, was it?_

Kira sighed again, breathing in deeply to steady his wildly beating heart.

He heard Torii chirp from somewhere in the room and shuddered, closing his eyes.

Whatever this was, this madness he had been thrown into without warning, the brunet knew one thing for certain…this constant stress was going to be the end of him.

* * *

><p>Yuka Ayame was not a young woman. At the age of forty three and with numerous certificates to back up her extensive medical knowledge, as well as a younger sister working at Orb's Morgenroute facility and the aunt to two children, she felt quite within her rights to make such a self-assessment.<p>

Yet despite this simple fact, the Yamato boy made her feel so much younger...and not in the good way.

How could a fifteen year old boy have such old eyes? Eyes that made her feel as if he had seen things she could never begin to comprehend. The kind of eyes that screamed war and hurt and death...A high school student with the eyes of a soldier...it was unnerving to state the least.

Heading down the stairs slowly, the nurse stepped into the living room where the parents of her strange patient sat in wait.

"How is he?" Caridad immediately asked, her dark eyes teary and shining with worry.

"He is fine for now. The fever has entirely subsided." Yuka offered hesitantly. _What did she tell them? That she suspected there was more to their sons condition then she could figure out._ "I am going to prescribe some tablets to help him sleep, he has antibiotics to get rid of the virus that caused the fever, but otherwise he is fine, although I would advise you to keep an eye on him."

"What could have caused such an extreme reaction?" Hiruma Yamato asked quietly while his wife sighed in relief.

_War. _Yuka thought but didn't voice that particular opinion. There was no way the boy could have seen even the shadow of a battle field.

"I wont presume anything." She told the parents. "However, maybe Kira has been stressed lately and his mind doesn't know how else to handle it."

"He is taking more lessons than most..." Caridad stated unsurely, glancing at her husband.

Yuka shrugged and shook their hands, preparing to leave.

"There is only so much I can do without knowing the cause and Kira was not very forthcoming with information." She said. "Take it easy, give him some space for now and when he is ready, he will talk. If there are any more problems, let me know."

"Thank you so much Yuka." Caridad said.

"Anytime Caridad."

Yuka made her way down the street to where her car was parked. As she climbed inside and deposited her bag on the passenger seat, her phone rang.

_"Yuka Ayame?" A woman's voice inquired._

"Yes."

_"This is Elene Stilton from the downtown police station, are you the aunt of Kinomi Murase?"_

Yuka sighed.

"Yes I am Ms. Stilton, what seems to be the problem?"

_"I am going to have to ask you to come to the station." Elene said gravelly. "I will inform you of the details once here and then you may take your niece home."_

"Very well, I will be there now."

Yuka ended the call and rubbed her eyes wearily.

_Oh Kinomi, what trouble have you found now?_

* * *

><p>It had been a week since he had been discharged from the infirmary and Athrun wasn't quite sure how he should react around people that he considered dead or quite frankly, could not remember.<p>

It was odd trying to behave normally when he did not know what normal was. His past recollections consisted of escalating violence that never seemed to end and fighting, the constant stink of death and sorrow…All this semi-peace, was more than a little disconcerting.

Just two days back, he had received a letter from his father- _His father that he saw die!- _it hadn't contained much except for a clinical wish that he get better soon, something Patrick Zala's secretary had most likely written, because strange dream world or whatever the hell he had been thrown into, Athrun knew one thing for certain...Patrick Zala never wrote any of his letters to his son personally.

The emerald eyed teen sighed and opened the door to his dorm room which he shared with Nicol, Yzak and Dearka. Said boys were already inside, along with Miguel, Tarin, Rusty and another redhead he vaguely remembered as Jeris Arnolds. They were playing cards.

"Hey Athrun!" Nicol greeted brightly and the rest of the room noticed his arrival.

"You finished with your check up already?" Miguel asked and he nodded slightly. "How are things?"

Athrun shrugged.

"Dr. Hue says the bandages can come off in a few days. My ribs are still a bit tender but he says that's normal."

"Great." Dearka cheered. "That means our squads training will start again soon which also means graduation if we get through the next few months with success."

"I don't see why we couldn't carry on with our training in the meantime." Yzak muttered. "It's not like we were all injured."

Rusty rolled his eyes from his seat beside Nicol and Tarin sighed. It seemed to be an old argument. "We are a team Joule, all our exercises are team-based and designed for eight people to participate." The redhead said.

"Yeah and its not like it was Athrun's fault he got injured." Jeris said softly.

Yzak Joule's expression was cold

"Whatever."

Athrun stood awkwardly nearby, not knowing how to participate or if he even should.

"Want to join in?" Nicol asked, seeming to read his mind.

"Yeah, we're just finishing up this round." Miguel added.

-_explosions. Loud and destructive. Taking lives-_

"N-No, it's fine." Athrun stammered slightly blushing when they turned to stare at him, looking confused. "I think I'm going to shower early."

Athrun quickly left the room, ignoring the groups whispered comments and trying to calm his panicked heartbeats.

"Do you guys think he's ok?" Nicol asked, brown eyes concerned.

"Why should we care?" Yzak snapped standing up while Miguel narrowed his eyes.

"He's our team mate...or don't you care that his problems might effect our performances during tests?"

Yzak huffed and stalked out the room. Dearka stood and followed at a leisurely pace, commenting. "He's just mad because Athrun scored better despite the injury." And too left the room.

"Should one of us make sure Zala is ok?" Rusty asked, looking to Miguel for an answer. The blond shook his head.

"Leave him be. We'll all keep an eye on him and if he doesn't seem to come right, then we can decide to intervene if necessary."

"Fine by me." Tarin said quietly and began reshuffling the cards.

In the bathroom under a spray of water so hot it was almost boiling, Athrun took deep breaths to calm his mind and stop the tremble that now racked his body.

"Calm down, you have to calm down." He chanted under his breath.

_Fire and blood. Screams. Cries...agony..._

The emerald-eyed coordinator shut his eyes to the memories and grit his teeth.

He was reliving his past. Certain things had yet to happen.

_The Strike exploding in a shower of hot metal. GENESIS firing. War. Death. Destruction._

His clenched fist slammed into the wall, a white tile cracking under the force.

_He was not going to let this win. He would not succumb to his past. He would change it all and this time, he knew what the right path was_.

Athrun opened his eyes slowly and took in the new injury with a detached air.

_Everything was going to be different._

* * *

><p>Finding the courage to walk through the streets of Heliopolis was like revisiting his dreams. Dreams of a time before ZAFT's infiltration of the neutral colony. Memories of events before all that he knew became mobile suits and destruction...A naïve, blissful life tainted only by the outside hints and happenings of a war that had yet to reach their side.<p>

Kira sighed quietly, letting his amethyst eyes trail slowly over familiar buildings and other landmarks, still intact and not debris on the floor.

_It was surreal._

He still wasn't sure what had happened. All the brunet knew, was that one minute he had been in the Freedom surrounded by the remains of battle and then he had been waking up in his Heliopolis bedroom...and after checking the calendar, had found the date claiming he was four months away from the day the colony exploded.

For the moment, instead of driving himself down a one way path to insanity, Kira had decided to accept this as some kind of time travel and simply go with it for now.

_What else could he do?_

Sighing, he only flinched slightly when Torii settled on his arm with a soft chirp.

_-mangled remains and dull red eyes-_

He shook his head and smiled slightly,

"What do you say to changing the world?"

The bird merely whistled and Kira sighed.

He didn't know what had happened, whether this was a dream, coma or some bizarre twist of fate? But he did know he couldn't just stand by and watch his past or memories repeat themselves.

"Let's get home Torii. Seems like I have some investigating to do."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Please review.


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